CAP

A Christian analysis of popular movies. Hilarious

Fundación Canal, Madrid

All I've Ever Wanted in a Gadget

Immigration in the U.S.

Reason Online publishes a four-page cartoon (these are the best two) about immigration in the U.S. by cartoonist Peter Bagge. It makes interesting reading, and should be made compulsory for every politician.

CBGB closing for good

Iconic punk institution CBGB in New York City is closing for good on Halloween. The Bowery club is shutting its doors after a lengthy rent dispute. Iggy Pop, Television, The Ramones, Talking Heads, Blondie, Patti Smith, and nearly every other first generation punk band graced the stage there at one time or another during its thirty-three years in existence. From the New York Daily News.

Not all of that history, however, is being left behind. Owner Hilly Kristal said he's negotiating to open up a CBGB in Las Vegas, as early as March...

Wherever the next CBGB ends up, Kristal said he's planning to take everything he can with him: the stage, the bar, the floorboards and assorted memorabilia. The scraps, he said, may be auctioned on eBay.

"We're going to take the urinals," Kristal said. "Joey [Ramone] went to the bathroom there.

"We can charge admission," he said, laughing.

The whole story, here.

Groucho Marx works for Adobe

If instead of "Ok" it was "Update", it would have been perfect

Welcome aboard

In-flight announcements are not entirely truthful. What might an honest one sound like?

“GOOD morning, ladies and gentlemen. We are delighted to welcome you aboard Veritas Airways, the airline that tells it like it is. Please ensure that your seat belt is fastened, your seat back is upright and your tray-table is stowed. At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

The flight attendants are now pointing out the emergency exits. This is the part of the announcement that you might want to pay attention to. So stop your sudoku for a minute and listen: knowing in advance where the exits are makes a dramatic difference to your chances of survival if we have to evacuate the aircraft. Also, please keep your seat belt fastened when seated, even if the seat-belt light is not illuminated. This is to protect you from the risk of clear-air turbulence, a rare but extremely nasty form of disturbance that can cause severe injury. Imagine the heavy food trolleys jumping into the air and bashing into the overhead lockers, and you will have some idea of how nasty it can be. We don't want to scare you. Still, keep that seat belt fastened all the same.

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference. Please remove high-heeled shoes before using the slides. We might as well add that space helmets and anti-gravity belts should also be removed, since even to mention the use of the slides as rafts is to enter the realm of science fiction.

Please switch off all mobile phones, since they can interfere with the aircraft's navigation systems. At least, that's what you've always been told. The real reason to switch them off is because they interfere with mobile networks on the ground, but somehow that doesn't sound quite so good. On most flights a few mobile phones are left on by mistake, so if they were really dangerous we would not allow them on board at all, if you think about it. We will have to come clean about this next year, when we introduce in-flight calling across the Veritas fleet. At that point the prospect of taking a cut of the sky-high calling charges will miraculously cause our safety concerns about mobile phones to evaporate.

On channel 11 of our in-flight entertainment system you will find a video consisting of abstract imagery and a new-age soundtrack, with a voice-over explaining some exercises you can do to reduce the risk of deep-vein thrombosis. We are aware that this video is tedious, but it is not meant to be fun. It is meant to limit our liability in the event of lawsuits.

Once we have reached cruising altitude you will be offered a light meal and a choice of beverages—a word that sounds so much better than just saying ‘drinks’, don't you think? The purpose of these refreshments is partly to keep you in your seats where you cannot do yourselves or anyone else any harm. Please consume alcohol in moderate quantities so that you become mildly sedated but not rowdy. That said, we can always turn the cabin air-quality down a notch or two to help ensure that you are sufficiently drowsy.

After take-off, the most dangerous part of the flight, the captain will say a few words that will either be so quiet that you will not be able to hear them, or so loud that they could wake the dead. So please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. We appreciate that you have a choice of airlines and we thank you for choosing Veritas, a member of an incomprehensible alliance of obscure foreign outfits, most of which you have never heard of. Cabin crew, please make sure we have remembered to close the doors. Sorry, I mean: ‘Doors to automatic and cross-check’. Thank you for flying Veritas.”

Taken from The Economist

The Wind-up bird chronicle

I gotta write about this book even though I'm only 3/4 through it. Even though it may be below the level set by Norwegian Wood or South of the Border, West of the Sun, it is very and deeply disturbing. I can't help but putting myself in the skin of Tooru Okada, the main character, and I believe I could easily descend into the confusion and isolation he goes through.

“¿Por qué me gustan las medusas? No lo sé. Las encuentro bonitas. Antes, mientras las miraba, he pensado una cosa. Escucha, lo que nosotros vemos es sólo una pequeña parte del mundo. Damos por hecho que esto es el mundo, pero no es del todo cierto. El verdadero mundo está en un lugar más oscuro, más profundo, y en su mayor parte lo ocupan criaturas como las medusas. Eso nosotros lo olvidamos. ¿No te parece? Dos terceras partes del planeta son océanos y lo que nosotros podemos ver con nuestros ojos no pasa de ser la superficie del mar, la piel. De lo que verdaderamente hay debajo no sabemos nada”.

The Vanishing of Richey Edwards

The tragic end of the troubled mind behind the Manics' best album.

Tesoro

1994

This is, in my humble opinion, the best rock record to come out the UK in the 1990's and, for many, a European, subtler and more cultured alternative to Nirvana.
Forget about Blur, Oasis, Radiohead et al. The Holy Bible contains 13 songs you will listen to compulsively, a mix of politics, anger and a sample of Richey Edwards' tortured mind.

The 90's revival

Other than a good Carter USM b-side, it's the new section I'm starting tonight ( I actually did it a few months ago with the Curve post). I'm going to write a bit about some records that I love and that were never hits (some of them were not even popular among my indie friends). All of them were released in the 1990's, which is perhaps my favourite decade in pop music.

The first one (the only one I actually have in mind now, but I promise to think about more entries) is Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine's amazing 1991 album, "30 Something".

Carter USM, described by the New Internationalist as "the UK’s first real post-Thatcher pop group", put together 11 musically simple songs (they were two anarcho-hippies playing guitars over pre-recorded techno-hardcore drums and samples). But the interest of their songs lay in the lyrics, which tell such popular stories as alcoholism, the first Iraq war, racism in the army, consumerism or home violence.They may sound bleak, (and they are), but this record is above all loaded with witty, black humour.

The way to a healthier me...

...or something.



Thanks to my girlfriend's connections, I could get hold of a VIP gym membership card (regular price 800 €) for just 240!!

With my new stressful lifestyle and tons of work at the office, I could do with some exercise. And I intend to get it!


UPDATE:

Two months after this post, I've been five times to the gym, which makes this incredible deal rather crappy value for money and me, a sad, lazy bastard

Life in The Office

Well, this is my first entry in 2 months and 10 days. It has been a combination of laziness, lack of strenght to communicate with the outside world and, oh yes,a new job.

For some time I used to see myself as some sort of skinny David Brent (right). Now that I'm older, I like to think of myself as a dark-haired Gareth Keenan. (pictured below)

Ok, my life if not like working in Slough. Madrid is way cooler. And I get to talk to important people in other cool cities, like er...Chatou or Fuenlabrada.

If after reading this you are not even mildly amused, please get the BBC's excellent series on DVD. There is not an Spanish version that I'm aware of, though I can provide you with my onw translation of the pilot episode. Just drop me a line.

Samorost

Welcome to the beautiful and weird world of Samorost.

On my iPod these days...

Well well well, the spring harvest is here and some things are good indeed!


Darren Hayman, "Table for One"
Thankfully, the ex-Hefner frontman has gone back to the style that we liked so much, and thrashed that stupid analog keyboard he used to much in tha latter Hefner days. It's no Fidelity Wars, but it's a fine collection of songs. You can also try "Cortinaland", a 5-track Ep released last summer. You can find out more about Darren on the old Hefner website.



Electrelane, "Axes"
These four girls' instrumental songs will thrill you if you appreciated My Bloody Valentine's soft, inscrutable vocals or Stereolab's beautiful loops. It’s loud and quiet, aggressive and calming, menacing and sweet, slow-paced and frenzied. Above all it’s a startlingly beautiful and unique record. You can meet the girls here.



Architecture in Helsinki, "in case we die"
This is the nicest surprise of al the records I've been listening to recently. The eight Australians accomplish without all the hype what a band like Clap your hands tries to (and fails), and deliver an album that is dangerously addictive. These guys may become the new Arcade Fire, and if you want to check them out, all you have to do is go to their website and listen to some clips.

¿Borrachina?, ¿Marchosa? Tal vez seas la monja perfecta.

¿Conoces bien el mundo y la vida? Pues mejor podrás ayudar a los hombres y mujeres de este mundo. Y no serás la primera: Santa María Magdalena, sin ir más lejos, también fue una cachonda como tú.

Piénsalo. Piensa en ser religiosa. Más que valor, hace falta mucho amor. (P.C.)

Wow, this order must be desperate to get new recruits...

Like Father, not Like Son

 "Trying to eliminate Sadam Hussein would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. ... We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. ... There was no viable 'exit strategy' we could see, violating another one of our principles. Furthermore, we had been self-conciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-cold war world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the United Nations' mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression that we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the United States could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land."

- George H.W. Bush and Brent Scowcroft in their 1998 book "A World Transformed."

Taken from Andrew's blog: http://ajpilgri.blogspot.com/

Valladolid's Godzilla

The Furries live in Madrid

Yessir! I was lucky enough to see them for the second time. As usual, it was a small crowd with the occasional drunk Welsh expatriate...

I read somewhere that SFU are the British answer to the Flaming Lips, only better. Well, one of their shows is guaranteed to make you laugh and think, all of this among references to UFO encounters and pictures of Tony and George W with the words "liar" and ''murderer" superimposed while they performed a 20-minute techno version of their classic "The man don't give a fuck".


They're also a technology-savvy team, deploying some amazing visuals to increase the impact of their sonic attack: the highlight of an already-excellent set is new track 'Zoom!', which explodes across their backdrops like a supernova on an alien mothership whilst the music swells around it. When the band departs from the stage after a distorsion-filled ''Receptacle for the Respectable'', I'm quite satisfied.

left: a shot from the "juxtapose with U" video

Now listen to this: it's guaranteed to give you 65% more intelligence, and it was recorded live&acoustic at the Minnesota Public Radio or something.